While I have been surrounded by the idea that talking about death, including your own death, is quite good for the past few years I am yet to do so convincingly. While I have considered writing down what I want included in my funeral, my views on organ donation, burial vs. cremation etc. I am yet to do so. The reasons, or perhaps excuses for this, are wide ranging. Under the surface there are probably some nerves about confronting the possibility of my own death but, the reason that springs to mind, is that this wish-list could get lost, destroyed, or mis-remembered by loved ones.
The solution that I have settled on is to post those wishes on this blog. While this may seem an unusually public place to post such information I believe that the benefits outweigh the costs.
Perceived costs:
- A blog post is too public
While this is true of a major blog this is not true of this blog. While, in theory, anyone can find this page chances are that virtually nobody will find this page. The internet is a big place and this blog doesn't even have the hint of a following.
- People will know what I'm worth to them if I'm dead
While this is true I will only be worth something to close friends and family
- Use of Informal and Vague Language
While this is probably a disadvantage from a legal perspective I am not writing these posts for lawyers. I am writing them for friends and family. I have faith in their ability to interpret my words in the way that I intend for them to be interpreted.
- Misinterpretation
While my words may be misinterpreted such misinterpretation should be reduced through discussion of the posts with friends and family. This reduction should take place in 2 ways. First by having the discussion they will be able to clarify what I meant in their own minds. Second, in having the discussion, I will become aware that something I have written needs further clarification. I will then be able to provide this clarification by updating the post.
- Hacking
Again this comes back to a question of motivation. At this stage, from a financial standpoint, I'm not worth enough for someone to 'hack' my blog and change my post-mortem wishes. While this does leave me open to people who will do it solely for fun it still seems to be a relatively low risk. As this blog isn't particularly popular it is unlikely to be found and is unlikely to be an enticing target as a result.
Perceived Benefits:
- Ease of Access
To view these pages friends and family will not need log-in details. They will all be able to access it independently and confirm the content for themselves should they feel the need.
- Ease of Updating
As I'm around computers with internet access a lot when I change my mind about something or want to add something I will be able to do so myself.
- Use of Informal and Vague Language
This is the sort of language we use on a day to day basis. This is the sort of language that we understand naturally. Vagueness, if present, should prevent anyone taking advantage of specific wording as the alternate interpretation should be available for anyone who disagrees.
- The start of a discussion
Should friends or family stumble across this they will probably talk to me about it. This is a strength in that I will be able to answer any questions they may have and, as they have found the posts and spoken to me about them, they will be more likely to remember my wishes if anything does happen and they will be likely to remember that my wishes are readily available.
- Immediacy
Again this is related to the ease of access. As individuals will be able to access the information themselves without having to consult a go-between they will have immediate access to my wishes in what is likely to be a difficult time.
- For the time being, a proper will seems unnecessary
As an individual I don't own a lot of things nor am I worth a lot of money. I have no children and my relationships are fairly straight forward. I have no specific views on what should go where/to who, only general ideas on how I would like people to behave regarding each other and my property in the event of my death. In fact, at this stage at least, the former concerns me more than the latter. Ultimately I trust in the judgement of my friends and family and want to provide them with a rough guide of my wishes rather than a hard-line set of instructions. In fact at this stage the funeral related wishes are likely to dominate and will probably cover simple things that people may be unsure of.
This post does not represent my will or my wishes regarding any funeral arrangements. Information on these things will be published in subsequent posts. This post simply contains information on what I perceive the costs and benefits of this approach to be.
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