Cremation or Burial - CREMATION
Who Keeps the Ashes? - Jess, if she declines then Mum and Dad. Shared custody between these people should also be considered. Here the ashes would move on some regular basis rather than 1/2 of them being in one place and the other 1/2 in another place.
How long should they keep the Ashes for? - As long as they like
Who decides when to scatter the Ashes? - The ashes should only be scattered once all close family and friends who want to be involved are ready.
How soon should after death should the funeral take place?
All I'll say is don't feel that you need to rush the funeral.
Where can photos of you be found?
Facebook, various hard-drives (no passwords, you just need physical access), older photos have been backed off onto DVDs, photo albums at Mum and Dad's.
Where can videos be found?
There aren't many videos of me around. There are videos of me pretending to be other people of course. I have a few of these in the a black DVD booklet. You may also like to contact Brendon Udy, Brice Varan, Graeme Bibby, Connor Snedecor, and Peter Haynes if you're interested in short film sort of stuff. The wedding video is on an external hard drive, my oldest desktop's hard drive, and various people have copies of the DVD (Jess, Mum and Dad, Janine and Bruce...)
In-home viewing? Your choice.
Where? If only one location is suggested then use that location. If more than one location is suggested try to decide for yourselves. If you can't decide for yourselves eliminate all options that are not my parent's house or Jess's house. If more than one location remains choose the location that will house the most people (has the most spare rooms). If you still can't decide choose the location that is closest to most of the immediate family.
Death Notice
Before you pay for one of these ask yourself this question: Will anyone find out about my death from the paper alone? If the answer is no please consider using the money for something else unless posting a death notice in the paper aids someone with their grieving process.
Embalming - No preference
Funeral Director to use - No Preference
Venue - No real preference. If a church is used the one Jess and I got married in could be nice as long as Jess is ok with that.
Celebrant Requests - Preferably not a Priest
Religious overtones - Preferably not. Please remember, at this stage I do not believe in god BUT I do believe in church. As such a service that focuses on the strength of community/family for mourners would fit with this (i.e. strength in each other) while a service focussing on strength coming from some supreme being would be less in keeping with my beliefs. That being said if Jess or a close family member does express a desire for some sort of blessing of my body/casket to aid in their grieving process/aid in progression to the afterlife this is fine with me.
How long should the service take?
As long as you like. Don't feel like you have to fit to some prescribed time line.
Do we have to talk?
No. Additionally no pressure to talk should be placed on anyone. If someone tells you they do not want to talk do not try to make them. If they change their mind they will tell you.
What would you like to wear?
Preferably not a suit at this stage.
Would you like to be 'buried' with anything?
Not particularly. If you like you could 'bury' me with a camera card in my pocket - preferably the coin pocket in the right hand pocket of a pair of pants (this is where I usually keep them). You could load anything personally meaningful onto this card (they will take any files, not just camera files). You might like to create a private folder where you could load things that you don't want other people to have access to and a public folder containing things that you don't mind other people being able to read. You could then share the items in the public folder amongst yourselves. This could be done using camera cards or something more practical. If you do include a camera card in my pocket copies of any speeches planned for the funeral as well as any other relevant funeral material would be greatly appreciated.
What would you like us to wear?
Whatever you feel comfortable wearing (I mean emotional comfort here)
What is your favourite colour?
Pretty much anything that's bright
Are there any songs that you would like played?
Nothing springs to mind at the moment
Favourite Music?
Foo Fighters and the Feelers have been long term favourites.
If you can find some acoustic stuff you might find something you like.
Do you have any special requests for the funeral?
Not at this stage
Do you want the funeral videoed?
I'm not bothered. This is a question to ask yourselves. You may like to ask the Humphreys and/or Tongs if they would recommend doing it.
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